Sunday, October 28, 2012

Hello Old Friends

They say no news is good news. I guess that is the best excuse I have for not blogging for almost a year.

We are coming up on four years (January) since Brady's diagnosis and well over 3 years since his treatment ended. He, as well as his brother and sisters have been flourishing.

We have continued on our follow up schedule of MRI every 6 months here at our home hospital. The end has been been in sight recently as our oncologist has told us that we have 5 years of this schedule to complete, and with Brady's latest scan this month we had 2 years left!

I'm so sorry to say that the plan has changed.

The real reason I'm updating the blog is to let those who love our family, those who have prayed with us, and even though who just follow our story to learn more about this disease know that there has been a bump in the road, for lack of a better term.

Brady had his MRI under anesthesia on October 2nd of this month. As I always do, I emailed our oncologist and asked him to call us right away to let us know the preliminary results. He called late that evening and let us know that preliminarily, everything "looked good." We breathed the familiar sigh of relief and celebrated another scan down!

One week later, on October 9th, the oncologist called late in day to tell us that the final radiology report did not, in fact, come back "good." You may remember that after Brady's final surgery, there was a small piece of "something" that the surgeons were not able to remove from the area next to his spine. Due to the extremely delicate nature of his surgery at Sloan, to access this small piece would have required turning Brady which would be too risky. The surgeons and the oncologist thought that leaving this piece, given Brady's type of tumor and how these tumors usually respond after surgery, would not likely cause a threat to him.

The doctors have never been able to give Brady a diagnosis of "cured," "no cancer," or "No Evidence of Disease" as it called in the Neuroblastoma world. He has been labeled as Stable Disease for the past 3 years given that there is no way to tell if the "spot" is cancer or scar tissue.

So back to the phone call on October 9th. Our doctor told my husband that this scan, when compared to those done back in 2009 after his 2nd surgery, show that that the spot has grown. He estimated that it had grown by .5-.8 centimeters. Clearly this change is not big compared to the original tumor. However, a change at all means that the assumption we had been trusting in for 3 years, that this thing was a "dead tumor" or scar tissue, was not true.

Our doctor here is not a specialist in Neuorblastoma. He is a brilliant and wonderful doctor and person, and he is also humble. He absolutely knew that he wanted to consult immediately with the doctors at Sloan in NYC. He told us that he would send Brady's scans down to Dr. Laquaglia, the surgeon that performed Brady's final surgery in April of 2009.

So we began a period of agonizing waiting. We waited 6 days with no word. I called Sloan myself the following Monday and found out that Brady's scans were received and that soon we would hear something from them. Our oncologist called next and told us that Dr. Laquaglia had asked that Brady's case be reviewed by the tumor board there on October 23rd. We would have another week of waiting. The tumor board is made up of surgeons, oncologist, and practitioners on the Neuroblastoma team at Sloan. It is a meeting of minds of the people that have the most experience with NB. They make decisions and recommendations based on best practices for children with NB.

October 23rd came and went. We knew that the tumor board met let in the day and prepared to hear from them the next day. But we didn't. I emailed our oncologist Wednesday night and he answered back that he hadn't heard anything, but would try to find out some answers. By Thursday morning I couldn't stand the waiting anymore. The scan had taken place over 3 weeks ago and we still didn't know what we were dealing with. I called Dr. Laqualgia's office in the morning. His secretary told me that the tumor board DID NOT discuss Brady's case because of some insurance glitch. Apparently, they now have to charge families for tumor board review and they were trying to access our insurance to do so. I was infuriated that we were not made aware of this. We would have immediately agreed to pay out of pocket had we have known. The secretary asked to put me on hold. So I held. Five minutes on hold...ten minutes...twelve minutes. I was just about to hang up as I thought I might have been hung up on. All of a sudden I hear, "Mrs. Williams? It is Dr. Laquaglia."

I sat down in my kitchen and for the next 10 minutes I spoke with the best Neuroblastoma surgeon in the world. Here is a summary of what he said:

-The “tumor” (we are once again referring to it as a tumor) has grown when you compare its size now to the size it was right after surgery in 2009.

-The growth is small, but it is definitely measurable.

-It is not something that just happened in recent months, but more likely has taken place slowly over time.

-The tumor is in one of the holes that goes from the spinal cord to the outside of the spinal column.

-Sometimes tumors like Brady’s do come back a bit. We can be encouraged that if it were a super aggressive cancerous tumor, it would be bigger and growing faster. This is “good news.”

-He theorized that it might be turning from Neuroblastoma to Ganglioneuroma. Ganglioneuroma is a benign tumor and sometimes Neuroblastomas mature into Ganglioneuromas. There is no way to know for sure which it is.
-The concern is less about the tumor itself and more about where it is and possible neurological damage.
-His recommendation was to "wait and see." He would like to rescan Brady in 3 months.
-If there is more growth, we will reevaluate. .Surgery will be the recommended course of treatment if one is needed. Dr. L is confident they could get this thing out. He indicated that Sloan will always advocate surgery only if necessary.
Our oncologist and I discussed the recommendations over email later that day. He fully agrees with Dr. L's assessment and also let me know that Dr. L did review the case with an oncologist on the NB at Sloan.
Matt and I have many questions that we are left with. Not the least of these is when did this "tumor" start growing, or did it ever stop? Perhaps it has been growing ever since surgery, but just so slowly that it was undetectable? Why didn't the radiologists here pick up on the change until now? How long will we now have to monitor this tumor? What sort of neurological damage could happen if it grows?
The next step is to meet with our oncologist here for follow up on November 8th. In the meantime we have to decide if we will continue Brady's follow up care here or if we will go to Sloan. We always said that we were comfortable staying locally if nothing unusual came up on his scans. Well, the unusual has happened and now we must decide. It sort of seems like we would be cutting out the middle man by going there, but we also respect and trust our doctor here so much. Unfortunately in the world of pediatric cancer, your local oncologist's experience just can't compare with that of the NB team at Sloan. We need to figure out insurance issues, traveling arrangements, and of course just handling life here at home if while we would be gone.
There you have it. A really big, sort of not so great update. We waited several weeks to make tell those outside of our closest friends and family because we just haven't known what we are dealing with. Our biggest concern is the well-being of Brady, Eli, Cara, and Allie. They know nothing of what is going on with this, and for now, that is okay. We will have to tell Brady when it comes time and figure out how to explain what is happening in a way that is not traumatic or causes him to worry. We ask that you use discretion when speaking to us in front of our kids regarding this issue. Their sweet innocence is such a precious gift.
I think I have asked for more than my fair share of prayer in my 33 years. If you wouldn't mind, we could use your prayers once again. I could write an entire post just about the spiritual journey I have been on this past month, and perhaps I will sometime. For now, just know that we place our trust in the God of things seen and unseen. He knows our joys and sorrows, and we know that he listens to those who call on His name. Thank you for doing so on our behalf.
With love,
Megan

Saturday, November 5, 2011

My Baby is 3!

Tomorrow is Allison's official birthday. Today we officially celebrated!


The theme of her party was owls. It was so much fun for me to plan. It seemed that everywhere I went, I saw owls!


Here was her party invite. I purchased a pdf from etsy.com I think I paid $11.95 for the designer to personalize the card and then email me the pdf. I then saved it, took it to Target, and printed the invites out as a regular picture size for 32 cents I think.



My mom and I were shopping at Walmart the other day, and I saw this silly bat pinata on clearance for $5.00. As soon as I saw it I knew I could transform this little bat into a beautiful owl! My mom has the before picture on her phone...all I have is the after picture. The kids and I named her Ollie the owl!
She was WAY too cute to let the kids whack with a bat. So instead, she was our centerpiece in the kitchen. I used a woven basket as her "nest", turned my stock pot upside down inside the basket, covered that with a brown fleece blanket, and then added a few sticks we had collected earlier in the week. Cara was happy to lend Ollie one of her bright pink hair pretties to wear! I think she may have to find a permanent home in the girls' room!



Here are a few more owl touches that were around the house!

These were just some foam owls that I bought in a pack from JoAnn Fabric for under $4.



I also used the foam owls to make a garland. I had several great pictures of Allie wearing her owl hat on a recent trip to a pumpkin patch with her preschool.









Unfortunately, most of my pictures don't have our friends and family in them! I'm always so busy during the party, that I take many of my pictures before it even starts! My awesomely talented photographer-sister-in-law will share some great pictures with me soon! I'll have to update with more "people shots" later.

I found these cute foam owl hats at Michael's.
One of my favorite details was the adorable owl pitcher that I found at Christmas Tree Shop (love that place) for only $1.00! I filled it with gummy worms. They were a HUGE hit with the kids. I am definitely going to keep this cute little piece out somewhere in the house.

If you haven't tried pinterest yet, what are you waiting for?!? I love gathering ideas. Gathering recipes. Gathering quotes. Pinterest is a place to store all of the wonderful tidbits of creativity that you find online. I saw someone use branches as a centerpiece on pinterest, and that is where I got the idea for these. The tiny owl ornaments that I found at JoAnns were the perfect touch!


Allie gave owl notepads to the girls and green owl bags to the boys.
Here is the birthday girl!
Certainly the CUTEST detail at the party was the awesome cake made by Jen Kirkum of Kirkum Cakes.

Brace yourself for some serious adorable-ness!

I just set it right on the cake stand my mom gave Allie to use on all of her special occasions in life, and added some branches around the bottom!
This is what it looked like with a few up lights and when we lit the candles.
After we lit the candles, big-brother-Eli helped Allie blow them out. Allie yelled, "Eli, you are not supposed to blow the candles out!" So, we lit them again, and she got to do it all by herself!
For those of you who have known our family a while, you know that Allie's arrival into our family was a pretty big surprise! The triplets were only just over 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant with her. 9 months later I found myself with 4 kids under 2! Then just two and a half months after that, Brady was diagnosed with cancer. That first year of her life was really consumed by Brady's surgeries and treatment. In so many ways that makes me sad. Many of the wonderful memories I should have of her first months are clouded by all that occurred as we fought for Brady's life. However, I believe that God knew just what we needed during that dark time. We all needed a beautiful new baby to remind us that life goes on, happiness can always be found, and that we could still have some joy in the midst of darkness.

We love you Allison Elizabeth! It's okay that you are turning 3...but how about you hold off on getting any older for a long, long time:)

Friday, September 16, 2011

September Fun

The big kids are in preschool each morning from 8:30 until 11. This means that I get lots of one on one time with my baby, I mean almost 3 year old, Allie.

I absolutely love it.

I love just being able to get things done and have her alongside me. I love just  having one small person making demands, messes, and noises rather than 4 for at least part of my day.

Things like just sitting in the kitchen, her eating an apple and me catching up on work, make me so happy.

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She can be a handful in the group, but one on one she is delightful and affectionate. I get many kisses, lots of hugs, and we can talk to each other uninterrupted.

Eli, Cara, and Brady have only been in UPK for a week and a half, but I have already seen so many changes in them. They spend a lot of time singing their songs from school, telling me how cool it is when I say “s” words as it is their letter of the week, and then there have been little surprises like this…

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Eli couldn’t wait to show me this! I told him how impressed I was that he could tell me the names of these letters. He responded, “No mommy. I wrote this for you. It says Mommy Loves Eli.” 

Wow. He’s a genius. A very, very sweet genius.

This afternoon the kids and I went to Brown’s Berry Patch with some other local moms. It was a gorgeous day and I really wanted to get some great pictures of the kids. Mission accomplished!

Apple picking

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On our way there, I told the kids that we would be picking apples and there would be a playground. A few minutes later, Eli said from the back seat, “Okay Mom. I have a plan. You can pick the apples and we will play on the playground.”

Pictures like this will forever be etched in my memory.

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This next one made me laugh. Triplets +1 Smile

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Monday, September 12, 2011

Lemonade Succes

Oh gosh. I haven't updated about the lemonade stand!

Well, we had great success again.

Not because of anything we did, but because of the wonderful support of our friends, family, and community.

With all of that support, we raised $1,065 during our two day event. All of that money has been sent to the Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation in honor of our survivor Brady Andrew Williams.

It was a strange weekend, weather wise. It was muggy and sunny, then cloudy and breezy, then it was rainy, quite rainy and cold.

Despite all the changes in weather conditions, we stuck it out and sold out of all of our baked goods and sold lemonade as best we could!

Our 3 year total in donations is now over $5,000. I'm just thrilled about that.

Thank you to each and every person who donated, volunteered, baked, and purchased something. I got to share our story several times and proudly displayed our family's testimony on a sign for all to see. To God be the glory:)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

School Days

When I was pregnant with the triplets, I had this recurring dream.


In my dream I was looking out the front door of our home on a rainy September day.


I was looking out the door and just down the brick walk were my three kids walking away from the house toward the school bus.


In my dream they were standing side by side, with backpacks on, holding hands on their way to school.


I didn’t get it then. I didn’t get how it would feel once I actually knew those three kids. I didn’t know how my heart would break in such a happy/sad way as I let them go away from the safety of our home and my arms.


Flash forward 4 and 1/2 years later. My triplets didn’t ride the bus to school this week, but they did leave their mommy to start UPK 5 mornings a week in the big school!


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That same dream crossed my mind so many times when Brady was sick. I can’t tell you how fearful I was that I would never see that dream come true.


But it did, even though it looked a little different than I thought. And with the joy I felt on Wednesday came a sense of guilt and sadness that so many mommies have lost their precious babies before they can kiss them off to school. I know that is depressing. However I can’t be honest with you if I don’t tell you that every milestone we encounter is now a mix of happy/sad/guilt/joy. It just is.


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I love these guys so much! They are so different, so uniquely perfect. I can’t wait to see what they accomplish and what adventures come their way!


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And how awesome is God for giving me one more sweet child to hold on to…just for a little longerSmile


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