Thursday, March 5, 2009

Calling our Prayer Warriors!

Well friends...not so good news tonight. Brady spiked a fever before dinner. It was hovering between 102-103 for a quite a while even with Tylenol. We called the oncologist and she said we needed to head to the ER. It is possible that Brady is neutropenic, so any infection is a big deal. We are here in the ER...got in right away since Brady is a cancer patient. He had blood drawn and we are waiting for results. His face is really flushed as well so the doctor thinks it could possibly be a reaction to the anesthesia. We are probably going to be moved upstairs to a room (private of course) and will be here overnight most likely.

I'm want to let you all know some disappointing news about the CT/MRI results as well. It looks as though the tumor in Brady's chest has not changed. It hasn't gotten bigger, but more disappointingly hasn't shrunk either. There is less swelling in the spinal area and the cord isn't compressed, but that could have been as a result of surgery, not chemo. The doctor wasn't completely discourged though because since his HVA and VMA levels did drop, that means the amount of neuroblastoma cells are fewer. So, it is possible that although the tumor didn't shrink, it could have "changed." Sometimes NB tumors will mature with chemo, which means they become benign, but don't shrink. There is no way to know if this is the case until we can get in there and biospy it. All the more reason that we need to get to Sloan. Our oncologist is emailing them yet again tomorrow, along with new scans.

I talked with God the whole way here. I told him of my disappointment, my broken heart. I told him how hard it is for us to leave our three healthy, happy children home living their normal life. I shared with him my anger that this cancer is still in my sweet Brady. I'm trusting him to give me that hope again that has sustained me for the last 1 1/2 months.

Please be praying:
For Brady's sweet spirit to continue being a blessing to all of us. He is amazing!
For the doctor's at Sloan to respond to us ASAP and make Brady a priority even though he isn't a Stage IV kid whom they deal with primarily.
For our parents and Eli, Cara, and Allie at home.
For God to heal my broken heart and restore my hope so that I can be strong for Brady.

14 comments:

  1. Sweetie, I'm so sorry this is the night you've had. I will pray and pray and pray. Of course you would feel disappointed and angry and many other things, too. Keep letting God know. I think he wants us to be genuine and honest with him at all times, even if that means we aren't "praising him" every minute. He is big enough to take it, and he is there even if it may not feel like it at this very moment. God loves you and Brady and your family, and so do I.

    -Rosalie

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  2. praying that brady can get some comfort tonight and that you get some reassuring news on brady's recovery soon.

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  3. Prayers from California for your HOPE to return. I am sure He has heard you!

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  4. my heart is so heavy reading your words...and i want you to know i am soooo praying for all you've asked and way more. may you find peace and strength...and thank you from me for calling out to god in your honest self! that is a true prayer, girl!

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  5. Oh Megan,my heart is broken too for you, Matt and especially sweet Brady. I will be lifting all of you up in prayer tonight. This road must be so very hard for you all. I know God understands your feelings. It is OK to be mad, disappointed and upset. Your whole world has been turned upside down. I was once told God doesn't cause bad things He is who helps us survive it all. He is an awesome God so do lose hope. I'm looking at your blinkie that says "Prayer changes things" and I can help but to think it will change things for Brady. Please know that so many are praying for you all, especially Sweet Brady. ~Laura

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  6. Megan and Matt,
    My heart is broken for you and Brady. In your time of sorrow, your Prayer Warriors will lift you up even higher.
    Rest knowing that we want to share your grief to lighten your load.
    Sending love and prayers for comfort for all,
    Deb R.

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  7. Praying for you with lots of love and admiration as you continue on with your unbelievable strength and grace. May God be with you.

    Stacey, Frank and Carter

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  8. oh no! what a day, praying for brady and for your family! hugs

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  9. My Faith is strong. I will send you all the strength I have. God will heal your heart and God will heal Brady, He has too. You and you family are far too Loved and too special.

    I will continue to pray. God will hear all these prayers from around the world. I have Faith.

    (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

    For you and your family.

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  10. Oh I am praying so so hard for you and Brady and your family...

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  11. Tons of prayers headed your way!

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  12. I'm so sorry to hear that the tumor hasn't shrunk as you had hoped. I know how much this disappointment hurts. I'm praying that the doctors taking care of our boys have the wisdom to choose the right treatment to wipe this cancer away. Can't wait for the day that Tighe and Brady are both cancer-free.

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  13. I am praying that you continue to have strength to stay strong through this challenging time. You all are handling this with such grace given the circumstances.

    I understand your disappointment in the CT/MRI scan. However, it is such a blessing that it has not grown.

    I will be praying that God provides you the information you need to answer your questions on how to proceed with Brady's treatment.

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  14. Megan,
    My prayers are with you & little Brady. Thanks for sharing your heart with us... it helps all of us know better how to pray for you!

    Another song for you...
    Bebo Norman "You can borrow Mine"

    Take my hand and walk with me a while
    Cause it seems your smile has left you
    And don't give in, when you fall apart
    And your broken heart has failed you
    I'll set a light up
    On a hilltop
    To show you my love
    For this world to see

    You can borrow mine
    When your hope is gone
    Borrow mine
    When you can't go on
    'Cause the world will not defeat you
    When we're side by side
    When your faith is hard to find
    You can borrow mine

    Take my love when all that you can see
    Is the raging sea all around us
    And don't give up 'cause I'm not letting go
    And the God we know will not fail us
    We'll lay it all down
    As we call out
    Sweet Savior
    help our unbelief

    You can borrow mine
    When your hope is gone
    Borrow mine
    When you can't go on
    'Cause the world will not defeat you
    When we're side by side
    When your faith is hard to find
    You can borrow mine

    When you are weak
    Unable to speak
    You are not alone
    The God who has saved us
    Will never forsake us
    he's coming to take us
    Take us to our home

    You can borrow mine
    When your hope is gone
    Borrow mine
    When you can't go on
    'Cause the world will not defeat you
    When we're side by side
    When your faith is hard to find
    When your faith is hard to find
    You can borrow mine

    Take my hand
    Take my love
    Don't give in
    Don't give up

    Megan, my friend... you can borrow mine!!!
    Love,
    Steph D.

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