Back on Track

The family is back in one piece again today...no appointments, no emergencies, and we had a chance to breathe a collective sigh of relief:)

Brady is fine today, although his appetite isn't that great, and his stubbornness is off the charts. I can't wait to see what he will do in life, how he will use his "I'm going to dig my heels in and not move" attitude to persevere! He has a pretty good bruise on his head, but other than that is just fine. I got a call from a worried pediatrician who had received a head CT report for her little cancer patient and I knew she was alarmed. After a little explaining, she too, took that sigh of relief. I also called the oncologist to make sure that we can still go ahead with anesthesia for scans Friday and everything will go as planned. Ha! I say that now...

I forgot to update on Cara yesterday. On Monday she had a crying fit and ended up bursting the clot that was at her surgical site. Basically her eye ball was filled with blood beneath the outer film. It looks AWFUL (think scary Halloween mask) but she is not bothered by it. We had her follow up appointment Tuesday and the doctor said everything is healing nicely. She seems to be tipping her head less, although still favoring her right eye. We go back in three months at which time she will be fully healed and the doctor can better assess the results.

Here are some neat thought that have been encouraging to me today. I'm always rereading parts of the book "When God and Cancer Meet" by Lynn Eib. This paragraph relates to cancer, but I think we can apply to any difficult area in our lives;
"Certainly, we beat cancer when we are declared in remission or cured. However, we also beat it moment by moment as we allow God, not cancer, to control our thoughts. We beat it hour by hour as we remember that God's power within us is greater than the cancer. And we beat it day by day as we trust in God's strength and not in cancer's weakness. Be encouraged. Anyone can beat cancer, because being victorious is not only about being cured.

That last part struck me SO much. I think in my mind I have decided that I just can't be fully happy and let go of this fear until we reach the 5-year cancer free mark (when Brady will be in 2nd grade!) That is a quite a long time, and the prospect of that wait was agonizing. I'm thinking a lot today about this idea that being "victorious is not only about being cured."

This is just where I am right now. I didn't' realize that when Brady finished treatment, I would enter a new battle. I'm battling in the moment to moment, day to day struggle. And this is just where I need to lay it all down to He who can carry the heaviest of burdens for me.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

An ER Trip for Brady

First off...everything is fine! There is no way I could write a title like that and not say right way that Brady is okay.

While I was at my MOPS meeting tonight, Brady fell and bumped his head hard on the wood floor. About 45 minutes later he threw up. Matt's mom called me to tell me that he was very upset and wanted his mommy. I called Matt thinking he would be fine once Matt got home. Matt called the doctor who said that unless he threw up more than once, not to worry. Well once Matt got home, he settled down, but then threw up again. We knew we had to take him to the ER to rule out a concussion. So I left MOPS and came home to pick them up.

We went to the hospital and we were seen pretty quickly. Actually the intake nurse knew about Brady (small town people!) and was very kind. They ordered a CT scan...that is when the worry started. I knew they wouldn't sedate him and Matt and I both knew that he was going to not lay there. When we got to the scan room, they told us that they would be strapping him down and that we would have to leave. The tech told us that kids "do better" without their parents present and that parents are rarely helpful. Uhhh, okay. So, Matt stayed by Brady's side the whole time!

He flipped out...it was awful...I stayed in the hall...and cried...and worried...and sang "In Christ Alone" to myself. Not sure why that song popped in my head, but it did, and I was glad. The whole thing only took about 5 minutes, but poor Brady had to be completely strapped down.

This is why I love this boy: Just think about what he has been through in 10 months. He has had more scans, pokes, exams then most of us would have in 2 lifetimes. He fears doctors, he is very skeptical of people, but yet within minutes of being back safe with mommy and daddy, his sweet innocence takes over and he can be Brady again. Within 20 minutes of the scan he was eating crackers and being silly again. He is the best...

The CT scan came back normal. Matt and I were enormously relieved. As we sat and waited for the results, that seed of doubt, the cloud of fear, entered our minds. What if there is a new spot in his brain...what if? But alas, Brady is fine. Just a bump on the head and a case of missing his mommy. As soon as I saw him he told me that I needed to kiss his boo boo. Sweet boy...

And to leave you with a laugh tonight: Cara, Brady, and I were stuck in traffic today in Rochester. A firetruck came racing by and Brady heard the sirens. He said, "Oooo mommy, there's a siren. Now comes the marching band!" Ha!