My Mom Logic

So, we all know I have entered a blog contest sponsored by the site Mom Logic. Many of you were kind enough to nominate me, so my next job is to blog about my concept of what "mom logic" is. Quite honestly, I think I'm in over my head here. There is a whole world of blogging moms I never knew existed. Their blogs are incredible, their computer skills awe inspiring, and many have elements on their blog that I don't even understand. I guess I'm totally clueless, but the good news is, I do have a blog, so I have a chance:) Without further ado, here is my Mom Logic entry:

I think I gave up on the idea of motherhood being logical a while back. You see, life was following a pretty logical, predictable course for me. I fell in love, married my high school sweetheart, bought a house, started a career, and a few years later got pregnant.

That is the end of my logical story...

34 weeks and 3 babies later I found myself in the most chaotic state of motherhood that I could ever have imagined. This certainly wasn't my "white picket fence" version of what my life should be. Visions of quiet moments blissfully snuggling my baby to sleep, proudly taking my baby out to the grocery store with me, and happily recording every little memory down in a baby book were quickly replaced with the reality of raising triplets. Life became a routine blur through which I moved like a automated robot. If it weren't for several cups of coffee a day and the support of my husband and family, surely I would never have survived.

But I did.

We began to get into a groove around here. Three babies, it's not that bad. The unpredictable newborns turned into delightful babies who gave my husband and I days full of exhausting, yet wonderful adventure. We were approaching their first birthday and felt like we had conquered the world and I began thinking about maybe going back to work. Yeah that's it, I'll go back to work. Seems the logical thing to do...

Then I got pregnant.

You've heard the stories about the surprise baby that many couples who at one point struggled with infertility have later in life? Well, the stories are true! I found myself at a most-illogical point in motherhood. I had 4 babies in 18 months. I'll spare you the details of my terrible pregnancy nausea and the adventures of caring for 3 babies while carrying your 4th. I can tell you that this part of the story ends with an amazingly delicious 9lb baby girl who is the delight of our lives. All was well with the Williams family again until the most illogical thing of all happened.

My son was diagnosed with cancer.

I still can't wrap my head around this one. How can 21 month old boy who is perfect in every way have cancer? My logic failed me once again as I looked at my life and just couldn't imagine stacking one more stressor onto the pile our family was carrying. We are now 3 months from Brady's diagnosis, and guess what? We are all still here. I wish I could tell you that I have finally been able to make sense of all of what has happened since I've become a mother. Certainly I have no way of explaining the "whys" of my life, but I have come to a full understanding of the "hows."

So many people tell me, "God won't give you more than you can handle." My answer now is without a doubt, He has. I can't handle the pain of facing my own child's mortality. I can't handle letting him go into the operating room not knowing if he will come back to me. I can't handle being separated from my other three children as we take our sick son to another city to seek treatment. I can't, but with God, I can.

Logic, no...

With faith....YES!

For me the only sense I can make of my life is that God has a plan for me, for my family, for my children. He has promised not to leave me, that I'll never walk alone. Will my life be without pain, of course not. Is God using every happening in my life to His glory, I pray that He is! My faithful blog readers can tell you that this 3 month blogging journey has been a wild ride. Most days I'm all over the place with emotion, but I pray that every day I can show that this mom is imperfect, yet faithful, and that is the most logical lesson I can share.

The Sunday Report

Well, it looks like I have another day to procrastinate writing my post for the Mom Logic contest. They extended the deadline until Tuesday, so I'm going to write my post tomorrow night.

So for tonight you get my regular Williams family update:) All is well today. The kids are getting outside a lot more these days which is great! The only downside is that they seem to hit a wall by 6:30 pm each night. There is a great deal of crying and whining going on here between 6:30 and bedtime at 7:45!! I guess the fresh air is just wiping them out. Brady's surgical dressings are still intact. I'm wondering if they will take them off on Wednesday or continue to wait for them to fall off. He doesn't seem to be in any pain now. He continues to travel around behind his trusty "Brady cart." Matt and I have been cracking up about something he said the other day. He loves to say "tiny _____" For example, when playing with playdoh he rolls it into "tiny balls" or he will see a "tiny bird." The other day he rubbed his head and said "tiny hair!" Ha!!!!

Our plans are still in place for our trip to NYC Wednesday. I'm just praying that our very busy day goes off without a hitch. Any slight delay will throw the whole day off, so we'll see! I guess I should pack some extra things just in case (especially diapers if you remember our last airline delay!)

The coming weekend is very busy! Eli, Cara, and Brady turn 2 on Friday and Sunday is our 6th anniversary, my mother in law's birthday, I'm singing in church, and in the afternoon is the Angel's of Mercy spaghetti dinner to benefit Brady. Honestly though, I LOVE being this kind of busy!

Reorganizing a Bit

What great weather we have had these last few days. It has been wonderful to get the kids outside to enjoy spring! Although putting shoes, hats, and coats on 4 kids isn't always the easiest, one we are outside, it is worth it! Brady is SO much more independent outside this year! We took his favorite walking toy outside on the driveway and he happily pushed it all over the whole time. Imagine his excitement that he is doing just what Eli and Cara are doing!!! I'm such a proud momma to see the three of them toddling around together. We are working on keeping them away from the end of the driveway. So far the only one testing the waters (meaning willing to risk her life by running into the road) is dear, sweet, naughty Cara:)

I'm trying to reorganize my blog a little. I want parents who come here to find out more about neuroblastoma to be able to more easily find the info they are looking for. I have been to many NB blogs and sometimes have spent hours going back and trying to read about specific parts of their treatment. Hopefully by posting links to specific posts it will help people find information. I've also posted a link to Neuroblastoma facts that is VERY informative.

Tomorrow my post will be written specifically for the Mother of All Bloggers contest. It is sponsored by the Mom Logic web forum, so the topic of my post needs to be about what the phrase "Mom Logic" means in my own world of mothering. There is a lot of room for interpretation here, so stay tuned for how I figure out a way to explain how Brady's journey has influenced by vies of motherhood. God bless and have a terrific Sunday!

The important things first...Brady continues to be on the road to a great recovery! I opted to not have the home nurse come today and instead took on changing his Broviac dressing myself. I used to have the nurse do it because she had to come for blood draws anyway. Since Brady doesn't need his blood drawn right now, I figured I would do the dressing change. I have only done it 2 or 3 times before so I'm always nervous. I'm not the best at keeping a sterile field:( Matt has to hold Brady down as I do it becuase he just detests the whole process. The hardest part for him is pulling off the old dressing. I think his skin is starting to break down a little, so I know it feels raw. Then I have to clean the area and he just screams, "ouch!" Totally heartbreaking, I hate doing it, but it has to be done. We made it through, and hopefully if the scans show things are stable, he can have the surgery to take the Broviac out! Won't that be a great day!

Another update: Our little friend Nathaniel made it through his surgery in 5 hours. I haven't gotten a recent update, but sounds like things went smoothly, and like Brady the main tumor was removed.

On a lighter note...I've entered a blogging contest. The grandprize is a laptop computer (woo-hoo!) and some free blog publicity. It's an exciting opportunity to share Brady's story, our faith, and raise awareness about NB. Entering is kind of tricky, but I only need 10 nominations to take part (the more the better though). I need the nominations by Sunday night!

Here are the steps:
1. Go to http://community.momlogic.com/profile/MeganWilliams (this is my profile page)
2. Scroll down to Comment Wall.
3. Leave me a comment that says something like "I nominate your blog for the Mother of all Bloggers Contest." You can add your own additional comments as well. I'm trying to focus on the fact that my blog has a heart and a cause!
4. I'm pretty sure you have to join MomLogic in order to leave a comment. I'm new to the site, but it seems like a cool online community of moms.

I appreciate your help and support!