School Days

When I was pregnant with the triplets, I had this recurring dream.

In my dream I was looking out the front door of our home on a rainy September day.

I was looking out the door and just down the brick walk were my three kids walking away from the house toward the school bus.

In my dream they were standing side by side, with backpacks on, holding hands on their way to school.

I didn’t get it then. I didn’t get how it would feel once I actually knew those three kids. I didn’t know how my heart would break in such a happy/sad way as I let them go away from the safety of our home and my arms.

Flash forward 4 and 1/2 years later. My triplets didn’t ride the bus to school this week, but they did leave their mommy to start UPK 5 mornings a week in the big school!

That same dream crossed my mind so many times when Brady was sick. I can’t tell you how fearful I was that I would never see that dream come true.

But it did, even though it looked a little different than I thought. And with the joy I felt on Wednesday came a sense of guilt and sadness that so many mommies have lost their precious babies before they can kiss them off to school. I know that is depressing. However I can’t be honest with you if I don’t tell you that every milestone we encounter is now a mix of happy/sad/guilt/joy. It just is.

I love these guys so much! They are so different, so uniquely perfect. I can’t wait to see what they accomplish and what adventures come their way!

And how awesome is God for giving me one more sweet child to hold on to…just for a little longer