Saturday, January 16, 2010

Deja Vu?

It's funny this time of year I find myself feeling kind of "deja vu-ish"-(I make up a lot of my own words huh?)

Last year at this time Matt and I were furiously researching everything about Cerebral Palsy. After all, that is what the doctor told us Brady had. We were just trying to use the time inbetween that appointment, and the scan date to confirm it, as wisely as we could. We had found a treatment for cerebral palsy that only a few centers in the US were doing, and we were brainstorming ways to raise the $20,000 it would cost to pay for it. We were on EBAY looking for used hyperbaric oxygen chambers that we could buy because several cutting edge studies had shown that oxygen therapy can improve muscle spasticity. We didn't share these ideas with many people, but we were willing, and making serious plans to do whatever it took and go wherever we had to go to get Brady the best help possible.

12 months later...obviously our plan changed drastically. As my best friend put it the other day, we climbed the mountain and now face a few hills in our path. With Brady's spine starting to change, we again find ourselves searching, reading, emailing, and just looking for the best possible options. All the while we are praying that God would lead us to a treatment, if there is one. So although the circumstance this time is much different than last, I feel exactly the same way as I did then. I feel frustrated that there aren't more answers out there, scared by the prognosis, and most of all sad that my precious boy will be affected by something like this.

BUT---there is something very different about this year, than last. This year I know that God is carrying us as we walk down this new winding path in our lives. Sure, I knew God was with me last year, but I truly didn't understand the amazing ways in which God could bring me to my knees, allow my heart to break, but then masterfully piece it back together again. The sense of security that I have this year that God is going work all things to His glory has been made so much stronger because of the events of this past year. The remarkable way in which Brady's diagnosis came about, his amazing recovery, God's never-ending provision for our family, and certainly the beautiful words many of you have been sharing with me through your email all are living testimonies to the ways in which our circumstance has been used for good.

You all know me well by now...I get down, I get mad, I get scared (probably way more than most) but I'm learning more and more to trust God in all things---even the sad, frustrating, and scary things of life!

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Hm,

and He will make your paths straight.


  1. Your verse is difficult to reason but needs to be followed with blind faith!


    Love, Deb R.

  2. I love that verse!

    We all have our down moments, but I love the way you continue to keep your eyes upward and try to see the silver lining even during the trials set before you.



We love to read your comments!