Monday, September 14, 2009

Feeling like Throwing in the Towel

I had a bad day today. There, I said it! It's one of those days where I've been avoiding blogging because I know I'm going to end up sounding like a whining complaining mess. But in the interest of maintaining my honesty, you might have to endure some whining and complaining:(

Truth be told I've been struggling with some issues of my own lately and coupled with the other issues dealing with the kids, I feel like my load is getting to be a little too heavy. I have dealt with muscle spasms and back/neck problems for about 10years, they come and go, sometimes lasting a few days, sometimes a few weeks. It seems like these issues have caught up with me in a major way. I can't say it is any big surprise...lots of stress + lots of lifting = back/neck pain! Matt and I both agree that it is time for me to get to the bottom of things and figure out how to manage this pain. Now I just have to find the time to take care of me. It sounds silly, but there just isn't ever time to go and get XRAYs done or get to the doctor. But I know I need to because the pain is really limiting every part of my day. I'm not living my life with the joy that I want to have because of pain and that stinks! I haven't wanted to discuss all of this on the blog because I want to keep the focus on Brady and our family, but it is affecting me and my attitude, and I wanted to keep it real with all of you:)

Today started off as any other and ended with yet another child sick! Cara's rash seems to be getting better, however the Prednisone is making her crazy (think rabid animal!!) So we stopped giving it to her. I have an order for a blood screening to test for some of the major food allergies. Allie continued to have a runny nose throughout the day and woke up very grouchy after her nap. After dinner Matt and I looked at each other and both knew that this reminded us of her "ear infection" cry. So, I got a 7:30pm appt with the doctor and off we went. On the way there, I was driving on the expressway, and all of a sudden I heard her gagging and start throwing up. She was really struggling to get it out of her mouth because her seat is still rear-facing and sort of reclined. I couldn't see her and was very scared because all I could hear was choking and gagging. I managed to pull over on the side of the highway and found her just covered head to toe in vomit. Ughh...Luckily I had grabbed an extra outfit! I cleaned her and the car seat up and put her in one of the other three seats (one of the advantages of having 4 kids!) When we got to the doctor she noted that Allie had some dark "suspicious" looking fluid behind her right ear. Given her history of ear infections, she gave me an antibiotic and sent us on our way. We both figured that the vomiting might have just been a fluke because she was crying in the car. She is very upset and I can tell she hurts, but she finally settled down by about 9:30pm...poor baby.

So there it is. Yes I feel down, sorry for myself, and just tired of drama around here. It's funny when you "survive" such a crisis as a child with almost feel like you should never let anything get you down again because you still have your child! But life continues to throw curve balls, doesn't it? And Megan is just a flawed human, complete with frequent pity parties, pessimism, and my share of bad days. I'm praying tonight for God to restore my spirit and to strengthen me so that I can be the best I can be for my family. I feel far from it!


  1. Hey Meg,
    I am sorry to hear you are having a tough day, hang in there... you are one of the strongest women I know, times get tough , look what you have gone through.. this is small in the grand scheme of things. Take care of yourself now!

  2. I hope tomorrow is a much better day. I don't know you personally (only through your blog), but I'm thinking of you and wish the best for you and your family.

  3. Hey, Meg. Sorry it was such a rough day. Hopefully things will be resolved with the girls and you soon! Back and neck pain is a real problem. I know it's so hard to find the extra time to do even one thing for yourself with little ones, but go get some tests and help if you can. You'll all be happier for it in the end. I'll pray for some relief for you and the girls tonight and for strenth for you and Matt.

  4. I think a little whining and complaining are okay, as long as you give it to God and allow him to fix it. Don't ask for it back, give it to him completely! We received the picture of the stand in the mail...AWESOME!!! You are such an inspiration! Take care of yourself...

  5. The prayers today are just for you.
    Better days will come.
    Love, A.

  6. Hi Megan! Don't apologize for whining and complaining! If you left your "bad days" out of your blog, it wouldn't be authentic!

    Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.
    Psalm 68:19

    Those words comfort me when I'm feeling down and overwhelmed. God is able. He is present with you. He is willing! Let Him bear your burdens!

    Love & hugs,

  7. Meg,
    It is very important that you take care of yourself so you can feel up to caring for the family. Make time and go find out what the back problems are.
    Prayers and love,
    Deb R.

  8. Oh Megan. Goodness, never feel like you can't share all of what you are feeling. Writing helps so much and sometimes just getting out exactly what you are feeling will remove SO much of the stress.
    Saying prayers for you for healing.

  9. Megan..You are an awesome Mom !!! We all have bad days, anyone who says otherwise is lying!!
    Don't forget to put yourself on the list of people to take care of...that's my only advice.
    Smile, Janet


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