Sunday, February 15, 2009

Peace in Chaos

I love it that Matt has been home with us for most of the past 3 1/2 weeks. He is heading back to work tomorrow until Brady's next round of chemo (Feb 24th). Everyone who knows us, knows that he is an amazing daddy. He does way more than his fair share and always has. I don't have to ask, he just does. Yes we squabble about the details (anyone who knows us, knows that too!) but he is the rock of our family, and without him I just don't know how I would make it. I seem to have little break downs every few days and his strength in my weakness just amazes me. I pray every day that I can be that way for him. Where was I going with this? Oh yes, when Matt is home, he always turns the radio on in the play room in the morning. We listen mostly to K-LOVE a national Christian station. Recently we both starting talking about this song Whatever You're Doing by Sanctus Real. It's an amazing song and it just speaks to us both, right in the middle of all this. Here are just a few words:
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

I think those words can speak to so many of us, no matter our circumstance. My battle every day is surrendering to what I can't see. I can't see the cancer inside Brady, I can't see the chemo working in his body. I can't see the future for him and for our family. I just keep praying that God will give me the courage and the faith to give in to His plan, let it go, and find that peace in chaos. Somedays it is easy to find, other days I have to look a little harder.

Not too much to update on with Brady today. His appetite is still very off, he will eat a lot of some things, like graham crackes today. He does not eat a lot at mealtime. His sweet spirit continues to bless us all. The daily rituals involving his Broviac are very difficult for him, they are really the only time he cries. I went and bought he and Eli matching baseball hats today. His hair could fall out anyday and I knew all of last year's hats would be too small.

Please pray for us as Matt goes back to work tomorrow. Pray for Matt too:)


  1. Matt, you rock! :) What an amazing thing to be just what your children and your wife need during such a challenging time! I'm sure it's not easy, but keep up the great work. Prayers are going out for YOU daily, too. :)

    Meg, good luck this week. You're doing a great job. I'll pray for a great week for all. Your ability to pay attention to the details (hats, for example) is so impressive. The details are always the first things I lose when I'm stressed. You're a great mom!


  2. Megan,
    you are and inspiration just as much as brady ur faith is getting you through all this and u are doing and amazing matter what hard time we go through we have to stay strong through god...we have to let him give us his strength to help us through!! let GOD continue to work through you are your family!! i pray every night!!!!! god bless

  3. Hey Brady,

    I see you're handsome young fella fighting that nasty old neuroblastoma. Well let me tell you that I am totally on your side! You see, I am a runner (a very slow runner) and I run to raise awareness of Neuroblastoma and I happen to have many, many Little Buddies (far too many) fighting the same disease as you and I run races in their honor. I am not sure what my next race is (I am in training for a journey run of 300 + miles in May- for the cause) and I'd really like put your name on my , no, our blog site and run the race in your honor; who knows it might be the 300 miler - you can read about it here:
    Just click on the big bridge picture to take you to my blog about that run. (It really needs updating)

    Listen Little Buddy, you keep fightin and I'll keep running and together we'll beat this nasty disease –

    God Bless You and Your Family

    Grandpa John

  4. So glad you are feeling better. Now that you've all had that nasty bug, at least you won't have it looming over you as to "who's going to get sick next." Still praying for your whole family...

  5. Megan and Matt,

    One day in Heaven, God looked down and saw a wonderful couple that wanted children and decided to bless them with four beautiful children. He knew one of these children needed a special set of parents to help him through a tragic illness.
    God especially choose you because he knew you can take that "step of faith" without being able to see what the future may bring.
    You have not disappointed God in the way you are stepping up and continuing to keep your eyes focused on Jesus as your strength and salvation.
    I believe God intrusts us with these beautiful children to raise them faithfully. It may not always go according to our plan but it is according to God's plan. At this point we have to remember God is in control and as we keep our eyes on him; he will guide our every foot step.
    So as we continue in STEPPING WITH BRADY, the Holy Spirit will guide you, your family, your friends from all over the world as Prayer Warriors so that one day Brady will walk.
    It takes believing and resting in God's will.
    Enjoy this precious day as the SON shines on your home of love and praise.

    Love, Deb R.


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