It has been one of those type.delete.type.delete kind of nights. I always almost feel bad when I blog about the darker side of things. I don't want to be a downer, but I also always want this story to be told with truth, honest, as best I can.
Truth be told, my heart is heavy on this cold Monday night. I struggle with how much of this "cancer world" to let into my life. I keep up with a handful of different families that I have read about in the last 10 months. I have read about their treatment, ups and downs, victories...but now, all of a sudden, it seems like things are going wrong for a few of these families. This is where my struggle lies. When I read about the agony of parents having to decide to stop treatment, relapse after 2-3 years cancer free, children dying...it breaks me into a million pieces. I feel my faith being shaken by these children and their suffering...I ask the "why" question. I try and figure out what makes these kids different from my own. I get on my knees and ask God to restore my broken faith so that I can pick up and go on.
I will continue to check in on these families. Yes, it's painful, it's awful, and it can be discouraging for me. But it is real, their struggle is real, and I can't ignore this world that God has shown me. I can pray for these kids and their families, as SO many have prayed for us. Thank you for continuing to support us, pray for us, and read this crazy little blog of mine. I know it is a roller coaster, but it is an honest roller coaster.
Megan, work in progress